Soup of the day

2008-09-21T18:21:00.003+08:00

I saw this on a friends blog and it gave me some strength amidst my emoness. I hope it'll serve to inspire you in its own way as well. cheers, salty.

LIFE AND HOW TO SURVIVE IT

A speech by Adrian Tan. Thanks Victoria for sharing.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction ?C probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truthr. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work? Its the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You’re going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there’s no life expectancy

just felt like writing..

2008-08-31T03:40:00.003+08:00

good morning my fellow soups (and sides),

just felt like writing sth at 0342..

seems like some of us are going through some tough times..
handling uni, work, ppl, new found friendship/relationship, old relationship, time management, trying to talk in accent, and many others...

tough times dont last, tough man do!
what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger!
you can do it!

some 'motivational' quotes to spur all of us on!
do hope we(the guys) can adapt to uni life soon.. really dislike the come and go feeling... 3 weeks has passed already.. it can only get better, i hope..

just came across this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hulRniQjfDo&feature=related
though we arent really considered struggling, but nonetheless, nice song! go read its lyrics, thought it's really meaningful and nice..
some preview of the chorus:
If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

well, to all those deep in thoughts and feelings, dont think too much.. not to ask you to be nonchalant about it.. but as what i often advocate, follow your heart and just jump into it.. may not be the most logical, reasonable, rational or what have you.. but good things may happen, at the time that you least expected it to..

alrights, talk too much and may not make sense..
time for bed.. at 0410 or perhaps later..

~thesoupistooboss~
counting down.. 37 hours 50 mins...

2008-08-26T15:02:00.002+08:00

Randomly posting from school! Had a lesson in the morning till 12 and one more at 1530 finishing at 1845. w00t life rocks! My calves and thighs are still aching from the hopelessly organised AHM.

thesoupistoofumo

Square root of 3

2008-07-27T01:32:00.002+08:00

Square Root of Three

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun,
as 1.7321
Such is my reality,
a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed
- Dave Feinberg

well well... back to getting emo again.. kind of nice being in this mood again.. tears moisturizing your eyes.. even during harold and kumar.. not that i am thinking of the past.. but just find it very sweet, very sweet of him...

hmm... this thought suddenly flashed across me.. didn't kumar just sort of like.. ks-ed someone?? even during her wedding day?
not that i support it, but neither do i object to it..
2 people, if you're meant to be together, you will be together..
and when you're together, truly appreciate and love each other..
it takes a lot for 2 people to come together and become couple..
not easy to maintain and sustain a relationship, this i can vouch for it..
but all it takes is a smile on her face to make it all worthwhile..

deviated from the topic.. if you think you can better provide for the person,
then perhaps you can say you have the "right" to ks..
and better provide refers to happiness.. long-term happiness..
otherwise, if you truly love the person, you will want her to smile, be happy..
and if the other party can do it better than you, probably it's time to step aside..

love.. very close to achieving nirvana.. though do miss the feeling of somebody taking care of you, loving you.. it is nice.. but it's okay.. have you guys..

maybe this will happen.. me driving a lexus convertible with a dog accompanying me.. driving along the highway in my smart 4, with 3 crabs on each shoulder (unless cock saf decides to change and place the rank on my chest).. enjoying the breeze.. knowing that singapore is safe and sound.. (oops, late for our 50th council gathering)

-thesoupistooboss-

pharm camp

2008-07-05T00:46:00.002+08:00

back from camp, yet lonelier than ever..

how do I explain this? you go to a camp, you hav fun, u interact, u make many many frens, u hav fun, u slpp really little but ur still happy. but when you reach home, the reality hits you that no1 is there. no 1 special is there to look forward to your return. sure... by saying this i take my parents for granted, but who doesnt. what I'm looking for here is a different thing, but dfor all who read this blog, u know what i mean. there is no 1 person to look forward to seeing at the end of the day. so even if you know all the beautiful girls in camp and hav fun with all the cool guys, u still come back to nothing at the end of the day. thats right, my four walls wait for me.... nothing else... nothing else...

thesoupistooid~

Somebody

2008-06-30T23:48:00.004+08:00

Hey, what about today? Is everything ok?
The world is in my hands. But i don't care.
Something in my mind.
If i could realize, the colours in my eyes are black and white.

Don't believe its true. If i blame it on you.
I'm only trying to hide.
I'm not right.
Forgive me if you can.
Sometimes i'm not a man.
My body's here but it's without me.

Lonely among a thousand people, this is how i feel.

Somebody. Please help me. Where is my soul?
Somebody. Please help me. Where is my soul?
Somebody. Please help me. Where is my soul?
Somebody.

thesoupistoosomebody

2008-06-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

The soup at Hua's house lazing around. What is the goal in our lives? Is it simply to procreate, pass down your genes to the next generation and pass on to whatever awaits after eternal slumber? Or is there something else in life which we can achieve before we move on? Our life surely cannot revolve around simply ensuring the survival of the next generation or we would be of little difference from animals. Our developed brains must have given us something more to do in life rather than just having sex and making little humans.

thesoupistoohua'splace

What should I do????

2008-06-07T02:16:00.004+08:00

I see things where some people do not see. I can sense things some people cannot sense. And I know things that some people do not know. I can say so many things that will definitely change people and the circumstances. Everything is balanced now. But there are so many things I can say and do.. that can break that balance. I see what is necessary and I know what must be done. And yet I cannot say anything. I cannot do anything. For what is necessary brings about pain and suffering. And my advice, if misunderstood will only give rise to doubt and suspicision. So what can I do??? I want to scream yet I cannot. I want to cry and yet I cannot. I want to tell you people everything and yet I cannot. Doing so will break the balance. Will bring about chaos. Will bring about pain and suffering. So what am I to do? Continue my silence is perhaps, the only thing I can do. Maintain status quo. Its not perfect but its the best I can think of. We all have things to say and yet the timing is never there to say it. And the moment I say something... Something bad happens. Was I wrong? Was my motive wrong? Was what I did wrong? I merely wanted to improve the situation but I only created doubt and mistrust. Then, it MUST BE TRUE. That silence is indeed the best option. And nothing should be said and nothing should be done. And if everything were to unfurl and if all crumbles into oblivion; I will be free from guilt. For in this whirlwind of events that have come to pass, I've had no hand in it. For in this catastrophe, all things came unto itself and I've not played a single role for the events to turn into this. YES. I have decided. Silence is best. I will no longer say anything to affect the balance. I will think but I will no longer speak. And this is the conclusion I've come to.

Thesoupistooid~

Soup's Calendar

2008-06-06T00:35:00.002+08:00

Well, in view of the need to co-ord runs and holidays together, thought this calendar thing can help us to plan and project our future activities.. added some already.. just include your name to the activity so that we know who's busy..

site to go: http://www.google.com/calendar
username: imbaheng
password: hengheng

it's part of google, so same as our blog's username and pw..

hope this helps..

thesoupistooboss
out

2008-05-22T14:27:00.002+08:00

guys,

hope i'll come back in one piece..
"if you're meant to die, you will die, one way or another"
heheh
well well, enjoy yourself in singapore!
run more!!
to 1hr 30min!!
see you guys when i'm back on 31st,
will see if i can update you guys along the trip..
take care there!

ms emmy, please take care there.. may not be what you think..
the soups will take care of you if *touch wood* yeah..
you will fine :)
let us buggers know if you need anything.

till then,
off to the rustic land!

-thesoupistooboss-

2008-05-22T12:10:00.002+08:00

hey guys, rembr my dengue episode 2 years ago?
i think i have dengue again ):
thinking only, cos im showing the symptoms
BUT I DON'T WANT!! ):
im scared :\

2008-05-21T13:23:00.001+08:00

How rational are we as humans? Logically speaking, we should strive to be as rational as possible since it would tend towards the most probable favourable outcome based on the individual's perception of risk against reward. Yet, there are so many situations in which we fail to be as rational as we possible should be.

The study of economics and risk management to an extent is all about rational behaviour. And so is the concept of an efficient market. Still, has history not shown us that the most rational action does not always occur? Even at our level, on a more personal basis, sometimes you know that you should or shouldn't do something but yet you still go against what you think is right. Is it an emotional condition? Or is it something Soros calls "imperfect understanding". We simply do not understand enough to make a decision with enough certainty.

On a social level, if everyone were perfectly rational, it would be a really boring place. The upside would be that crime rates would be likely to fall in a rational society since the penalty of a crime typically outweighs the gains. Rationality is likely to be clouded by hope, emotions and/or despair. Gambling is in itself not a very rational thing to do by the laws of probability. The chance of you winning is so slim and the continuous "investment" in a 4D ticket or its equivalent is likely to set you back more than you gain. Even so, the snaking queues outside the Singapore Pools outlets when there's a big prize of $10million occurs all the time! Yet, when you think about it rationally, a bigger prize results in a larger participation which effectively means that more people will strike the top prize. Hence, after the pie is divided, the prize money is not what it promises to be.

Irrationality, though, is not always truly bad. Then again, rationality is a perception so 2 rational people may have varying degrees of rationality. Hmmm do I make sense? Is it better to be perfectly rational or does irrationality have its perks? David fighting Goliath was not a rational thing to do yet the improbable came true and his legacy has been left behind.

thesoupistoofumo

2008-05-20T10:41:00.001+08:00

first day of work
and im dying to sleep :\
run soon k guys
im getting too fat for my own good
taiwan was too fattening

thesideistooh0t

2008-05-18T01:29:00.002+08:00

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance...

Maybe they don't have anything else interesting to tell others.A wise person doesn't need to show off what they know and what they do.

thesoupistoo....

2008-05-16T21:56:00.002+08:00

It's a sad sad few weeks with so many deaths in this part of the world. We are truly blessed to be living in this part of the world. Yes, perhaps if it's time to go it's time to go but living in different parts of the world exposes you to different amounts of risk. Even so, it's quite ironic that even though the cyclone has killed more people than the earthquake, I tend to sympathize more with China. Firstly, perhaps it's because we're Chinese (except for nair) so perhaps it's a 同乡 (literally translated: same village) kind of thing. But also because there's more media coverage on China so you see more scenes and Wen Jiabao has been very hands-on and sincere about the whole issue. Also in a cyclone I think that if you die, you die whereas in an earthquake you can be trapped so you're neither here nor there. Of course the after effects may still bring about dire consequences but somehow I think being trapped and not knowing whether you'll get out alive is pretty terrifying.

The junta's response is also truly appalling. Even China, such a big country with a huge reserve has accepted foreign aid from even Japan! Yet Myanmar, a country which is so poor is making it so difficult for foreign aid to arrive. In such situations, politics still plays such a big part. Is being in power really worth all that sacrifice? Well, perhaps it's apt that they're a Buddhist country for what goes around will eventually come around.

thesoupistoofumo

random post..

2008-05-11T03:38:00.003+08:00

hmm.. realised that we haven't been writing!
actually, not much inspiration as well.. but nonetheless, shall post sth. dont want all the effort of setting this blog go to waste..

today, in a less emo mood, a rather happy and carefree mood..
nothing to do with the clubbing trip just a while ago..
it really feels good to have no burden on your shoulders..
no work related issues in your mind, no relationship problem in your head..
just hanging out with you guys, with the people whom you really feel comfortable and able to be yourself..
guess that is very important: be yourself..
sth that sometimes society doesnt allow you to be.. be it at work, at home, or anywhere that you can name..
it has been a happy weekend thus far for me..
though it comprises of severe intoxication to my liver but it doesnt matter..
it is the smile and happiness it brings.. good sleep too!

as usual, must add a song to every post!
just a youtube link instead, before you guys keep complaining about long posts.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xObOlfoLyJc
a song that my fren introduced to me..
alil emo.. reflective song..
go find the lyrics and.. feel the song..
enjoy!

be happy. be strong. be humble. be true.

thesoupistooboss, out

2008-04-30T12:32:00.001+08:00

SINGAPORE HERE I STAY ! thesoupistooheng

take care all the soups who are flying =)dont poke each other too much

2008-04-30T02:22:00.000+08:00

BANGKOK HERE WE GO!

thesoupistoofumo

Pages from a Book

2008-04-27T13:57:00.001+08:00

I said: “Hey! Let’s go to the beach today! Since it’s all bright and sunny and warm, it’ll be a good way to relax.”
“Sure!” she said while smiling. And that smile was of the warmest kind, the kind that came straight from the heart.

And with this, we packed the necessary items, changed into our beach gear (comprising of shorts, tees, a cap and a few camping items) and hopped onto our car. We didn’t say a thing throughout or ride, all the talking was done by the DJ on the radio. But it was pleasant. I can feel it. And I’m sure she feels the same too. And you might ask, how can such a simple thing such as a drive to the beach invoke so such feelings from you? The answer is simple: Because she’s right there beside you feeling exactly the same thing. And this scene I’m describing to you… must be Heaven.

As we stepped out of the car, I grabbed our bags and we started off for the beach. And instinctively, before we knew it, we were already holding each other’s hands. We walked along the whole length of the beach; the sun on our skin, the sand at our feet and our hands… feeling the touch of the other. Simple pleasures of a simple life. When we got tired, we rested. When we got bored, we walked again. And when we started to talk, we couldn’t stop. The topics kept coming and the words kept flowing. And the whole day just passed; and we apply the cliché line of how time flies when you’re having fun. By the time we realised, it was already late into the night. And so we made a decision: Why not just stay one night on the beach? The sky was clear, the wind was cool and the sound of the waves was a lullaby that guided us off to sleep. So there we were, on that beach chair of a café that had closed earlier, holding each other and in this warm embrace, drifted off to a place that mattered only to the both of us.

Thesoupistooid~

2008-04-26T14:57:00.001+08:00

R
U
N
!

pls? (:

TWO MORE PAPERS TO GO!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

thesideistooh0t

2008-04-24T00:53:00.005+08:00

Depression is more than extreme sadness. *read on* =x

Depression is both a mental and a physiological condition. To me, it is more mental than physiological. The state of mind of a person is controlled by one's will. Hence, depression can and should only be controlled by the mind, never by physical factors.

Mental : This is also known as major depression. Unipolar depression and bipolar disorder are the two possible outcome. Being in a severely depressed mood for a minimum period of two weeks is classified as unipolar depression. A person suffering from unipolar depression remains at one emotional side and experiences totally no periods of elation. A person suffering from bipolar disorder is similar to a person suffering from unipolar depression, just that there might be periods of elation or mania.

Physiological : Hormonal changes and being sick is part and parcel of life. Nothing much to worry about depression in this aspect unless it evolves into clinical depression. Hardly the case, but there are real life cases of people suffering from an inherent sickness which turned into depression due to the outcome of the sickness.

Not very specific or 100% correct, but that's a summary. Why depression? Haven't anyone been in a state of depression for one moment in their lives before? It's like your shadow, materialised from all the negative energies inside one's body. Stuck to you, sometimes it just makes you think and talk to this shadow. Some people have the ability to stay in the light, dispelling this shadow of depression, yet many chose to not only keep to the shadow, but let the darkness engulf oneself by staying in the dark, away from light.

Just what exactly is this light?

Friends? Family?

Guess not. It's something intangible. The ability to accept this shadow, and telling yourself to be able to walk out of the room to see the sun. Having friends and family to help you is one thing, but only you yourself can bring the soul out of depression.

Those who are suffering from depression are oftenly people who are unwilling to open out to others, unwilling to accept reality. Keeping everything to themselves, thinking that things will eventually be fine is he common thinking. However, they do not realise that what they do is deceiving themselves and delaying the inevitable result that they refuse to accept from the start. The fear of "feeling depressed" by accepting the undesirable result causes the person to sink into a deeper depression through the whole duration of self-deceit and whatever illusions they painted to delude them. Friends and family can help to bring this person out of the already dark space, but the person has to learn how to accept.

I would say that, being in the state of depression is hardly the best feeling in this world. To cure this problem, as a friend, we do not have to know exactly what happened to the depressed person. Just imagine what you want, when you are feeling depressed. If you sense that the depressed person is unable to let it all out due to any factors and needs to let it out.. Help him/her to the best of your ability let it out. You got to do what a friend has to do. Do not probe, but just try to make him/her feel better. Details are saved for the times when the ordeal blows over. It's not easy to be a good friend. In fact, you may get misunderstood for your attempt to make the person feel better. Don't let it get to you. You may be a victim of emo-ness, but you are definitely not the intended target. But sometimes, people wake up from counter-emo measures. It all depends on how good you're at and whether that person would be affected by such measures. In short, you have to do what you need to do as a friend to save a depressed friend, for not everyone can walk into the light on their own.

-thesoupistookinky

if she can't love him back the way he loves her, then she doesn't deserve him.
-Grey's Anatomy

sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right.
-Grey's Anatomy

2008-04-22T23:15:00.001+08:00

Tears of the blue sky

The wind following at a fast pace
Will slip through my fingers
The things I believe are still scary
But I’m not going to stop

The moon beats softly on my shoulders
And I will even forget getting lost
On the reflected moon road

Even if I wait for a tomrrow of nothing
A hand will give rise to something
And the chosen path will change

The tears shed by the blue sky’s
Will surely clear up tomarrow

To where I look up,
That is where I am suppose to start.
I can go anywhere,
If I don’t give up on myself

The pouring tears of the blue sky
Will someday become a smile

thesoupistooheng

2008-04-21T01:45:00.003+08:00

Secondhand Serenade - Fall for You

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

salty

2008-04-20T23:34:00.002+08:00

thesoupistoofumo's cure for emo-ness!

GO RUN!

I just ran! Don't think so much. Life goes on whether you're happy or sad. Strive for enlightenment! We're still only 21 this year and we just came out of gaydom heaven (aka the saf) so besides kenny and dc they days of gays are behind rather than in front. That is, of course, excluding the gay group of us. Uni is just around the corner and with it, should come a load of opportunities and hope. We are but in a stage of in between. Think of where you want to be in 10 years time and work towards it! If it's affairs of the heart that's troubling you, focus on the positives and think of your head, not your heart.

Anyway, if all else fails, RUN AND EAT CHOCOLATE! CAUSE BOTH OF THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!

thesoupistoofumo

2008-04-20T21:17:00.006+08:00

this is my current desktop picture
cute, aint it? (:
anws, what i really want to say in this post is..

STOP BEING EMO LAH YOU GUYS!

life goes on, no matter what
nothing, and i mean NOTHING, can stop any of you from moving on in life

so SMILE (:

♥,
thesideistooh0t

2008-04-20T17:26:00.004+08:00

Houko Kuwashima - Shinkai no Kodoku (Solitude of the Ocean Depths)

kanashimi wo oshiete...

hitomi wo tojite itara kanashimi mo mienai to
nukumori shirazu ni ireba kizutsuku koto mo nai to

omoidasenai, yasashii koe wo
tomurau mune no unabara

kieuseta kako kara, dareka ga yondeiru no
kanashimi wo kono te ni torimodosu toki wa itsu to
nido towa konai ima
anata no koto shika mienai

tooku de shizuka ni hikaru yasashii fune ga hitotsu
sakamaku nageki wo nosete mune no nanima ni kieru

shiranai hazu no nukumori mo naze
sagashite madou unabara

sazanami yurameite, inochi no fune wa yuku yo
hoshi hitotsu mienai namima wo koete sumumu yo
kurayami no mukou ni
anata no koto shika mienai

Tell me about sorrow...

You can't even see sorrow with your eyes closed
You won't be hurt if you don't know kindness

The kind voice that i can't recall tells me so
The vast ocean within the mourning heart

Someone is calling from my erased past
When will i regain my sorrow?
In this irreplaceable moment
I can only see you

There's one ship glimmering softly, far away
It disappears into the waves in your heart with swirling sorrows on board

Why does it wander the seas
Searching for the love that it shouldn't even know about

Overcoming the waves, the boat of life will go on
It'll keep moving, overcoming the rough and starless seas
Beyond the darkness
I can only see you

thesoupistoogayy

2008-04-20T14:19:00.002+08:00

sometimes, songs just reflect our feelings best when we cant put any words to it.
here's the one that we heard at marina square, the used cd depot or sth.

Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

an oldie, prob our parents will remember this song in their times..
here's a video with some nice quotes.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wdB8yJjn34g&feature=related
"the saddest thing in the world is to love someone who used to love you"
is being foolish to do so?
guess it is..
so guys, ought to heads up (the top one) and look forward.
dont be sad but be happy.
if it's meant to be, it will be..
go on and strive for your happiness! be it in food, desserts, work or even love.
be bold and true!

a big thank you again to all soups and sides for celebrating my 21st.
just love the feeling of seeing all the happy smiles on all your faces!

thank you :)

thesoupistooboss -age 21- out.

2008-04-20T11:28:00.004+08:00

Sadness is not depression *read all* =D

We all feel sad sometimes. Sadness is a normal emotion that can make life more interesting. Much art and poetry is inspired by sadness and melancholy. Sadness almost always accompanies loss. When we say goodbye to a loved one we usually feel sad. The sadness is even deeper if a close relationship has ended or a loved one has died.

Sadness also helps us appreciate happiness. When our mood eventually changes from sadness toward happiness the sense of contrast adds to the enjoyment of the mood.

Here are some ways toexperience normal sadness in a healthy way and to allow this emotion to enrich your life:

Allow yourself to be sad. Denying such feelings may force them underground, where they can domoredamage with time. Cry if you feel like it. Notice if you feel relief after the tears stop.

If you are feeling sad, plan a sadness day.Plan a day or evening just to be alone, listen to melancholy music, and to observe your thoughts and feelings. Planning time to be unhappy can be actually feel good. It can help you ultimately move into a more happy mood.

Think about the context of the sad feelings. Are theyrelated to a loss or an unhappy event? It's usually not as simple as discovering the "cause" of the sadness, but it may be possible to understand factors involved.

Sadness can result from a change that you didn't expect, or it can signal the need for a change in your life.Change is usually stressful, but it is necessary for growth.

Know when sadness turns into depression. Get help if this happens rather than getting stuck in it.

thesoupistoosad(heng)

2008-04-20T01:38:00.002+08:00

Papa Roach - Scars

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
-end-

what an emo song. what an emo night. great dinner though (kudos to kenny and heng wee). too lazy to organize my thoughts into a coherent entry so i thought i'd just settle on this song that came on my player a couple of minutes ago. scars remind us that the past is real indeed. night soups.
salty

2008-04-18T22:23:00.001+08:00

What a boring Friday night!!!
thesoupistoofumo

2008-04-18T00:12:00.002+08:00

emmi, one of the sides, is getting seriously cranky
emmi, one of the sides, is in need of running therapy
emmi, one of the sides, wants to eat and drink monkey brain and polar bear paws

emmi, one of the sides, wants to apologize for such a random and stupid entry

Satisfied Mind - Johnn Cash

2008-04-11T00:14:00.001+08:00

How many times have
You heard someone say
If I had his money
I could do things my way

But little they know
That it's so hard to find
One rich man in ten
With a satisfied mind

Once I was waitin'
In fortune and fame
Everything that I dreamed for
To get a start in life's game

Then suddenly it happened
I lost every dime
But I'm richer by far
With a satisfied mind

Money can't buy back
Your youth when you're old
Or a friend when you're lonely
Or a love that's grown cold

The wealthiest person
Is a pauper at times
Compared to the man
With a satisfied mind

When my life has ended
And my time has run out
My friends and my loved ones
I'll leave there's no doubt

But one thing's for certain
When it comes my time
I'll leave this old world
With a satisfied mind

How many times have
You heard someone say
If I had his money
I could do things my way

But little they know
That it's so hard to find
One rich man in ten
With a satisfied mind

thesoupistooheng

love...

2008-04-10T21:57:00.003+08:00

since we are on the topic on relationship, thought want to make use of the song "because i'm a girl" to illustrate some thoughts.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7zXe2fioco
=============================================
I just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

You should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although I will curse you I'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything

[narration]
Hey babe
the pain
it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but I know now
I've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever I needed you you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
even though you hurt me
I still love you
I still love you
Don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
U didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
Although i will curse you i'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything

=============================================
dont know how accurate is the translation, cuz seen many quite differing versions. but nonetheless, this song never fails to bring tears to my heart and eyes..

as we try to find our better half, always bear this in mind, it is a commitment. dont get into a relationship because you want to have a girlfriend or worse, sex. though my opinion of singaporean girls have changed drastically, but nonetheless, there are still angelic ones around. never ever break a person's heart. it hurt damn bad.. you wouldnt just cause pain, but a barrier and fear as well. i would say really must go out and just be pals with many different people. be friends and just friends. i dont think relationship should be a trial and error thing. commit into one when you really want something to bloom. it takes a lot of fate, courage and love to put 2 people together, even just boyfriend-girlfriend. these 2 person must really treasure each other, appreciate each others' presence and actions, for you wouldnt really know how much sacrifices the other party has to give in to merely put a smile on your face.

for 2 people to live their lives together is never easy. 2 different minds, 2 different souls. but 2 of you promised to beat your hearts as one. it takes a lot of effort and pride to compromise. but it's worthwhile. you need not win all the time. losing isnt wrong as well..

dont care if there are bastards around, who may seem to impress the girls better than you do, getting over-friendly with the ones you fancy, or even bedding some of them. it's okay.. then the girls are just too blind to notice your existance..

be sincere yet be bold at times. if you really fancy someone, and you know she's the one whom you want to be with, take care of, and someone who loves you too.. take the step forward. really.. thereafter hold on to this found relationship.. be true to it and it ought to be your priority. a girl really needs your time and attention and love. not easy, but again, it is all worthwhile to be able to put a smile on your girl's face.. nothing beats that feeling..

think this post has gotten a bit long.. just hope cupid will look upon us soon, so that we can find our better half, to make our lives more complete..

"There is someone I love... Although I can't be with her now... I'm still in love with her"

thesoupistooboss.. heart in tears...

Controversial Post 002 – The Re-Affirmation of Evil

2008-04-09T02:15:00.002+08:00

As you all already know, I have an “eighteeen” tendency. So what better way to explain it to all of you people, than to do it on Controversial Post 002 – The Re-Affirmation of Evil. I know I’m going to get a lot of flak for writing this and some of you will want to drag me down for an exorcism or a lobotomy; I might even get crucified. But again, as I always say. Don’t judge me so soon. Hear my explanation, albeit one of a psycho perhaps, but even criminal minds deserve a good study. (Not that I’m a criminal, I’m clean of any records and I intend to stay that way). But before I explain why, I’d like to take a stand that though I have these tendencies, I will not break the law or harm anyone. Having these thoughts (please do assume anything bad here, my version of evil is a perversion of the mind, not an act of outrage) and carrying them out in real life is two totally different things. Now let me explain why.

When you see a child, you probably see the same thing as I do; Innocence, long years ahead and perhaps, a bright future. What’s important to note here is Innocence, which will get lost as a person grows older. And this rare, rare commodity, once lost, will never again be recovered. And this Innocence is the one thing that attracts me. Innocence can be corrupted. And here’s perhaps one of my greatest sins: I enjoy corrupting this innocence. As they say; a child can be mould for the future and I shall mould this one myself. It is in this act of corrupting an innocent that I find joy it. Yes, I am evil, but I have not done so yet, nor will I in future perhaps. So now, let me define my form of corruption. Corruption is the installation of perverted ideas (meaning ideas that do no fit the norm but into the mind of another person) into someone, who may one day act according to them, and thereby converting that person into your subject. What am I trying to achieve here? Instead of looking for someone who shares the same ideas and way of thought, I am creating a person who has the same ideas and way of thought. In essence, by corrupting this…. “group of people”, I am creating someone who is almost identical, who understands me, who knows what I’m thinking and requires no explanations for all my actions. An almost perfect, identical self. “Why them?” you might ask. Because they are easily corruptible and their loss of innocence is…. Amusing. There are many more reasons I can think of but I can’t put them into words for now. Feelings are truly difficult to put into words. So I suppose you all must be condemning me right about now. I am evil yes, but I’m not crazy enough to do anything stupid. These are just thoughts, my inner demons. I’m sure some of you have some too, just not in this way.

If anyone finds this offensive then just take it down as and when you have access.
Again, nobody’s perfect. ~thesoupistooid~

2008-04-08T13:48:00.002+08:00

How then do you define love? Marriage is usually the cummulation of experiences and the affirmation or at least the belief that both parties are truly prepared to spend the rest of their lives together. Anything before that encompasses a much larger degree of uncertainty. Marriage is not only displaying your love to the rest of the world but acts as a psychological barrier as well. To commit into marriage will definitely take more consideration and thought as compared to getting yourself a girlfriend or boyfriend. To engage in pre-marital sex while both parties are still dating means that there is a large degree of uncertainty. Or, in Buffett terms, there is no margin of safety. If both of you love each other so much, why not get married? If it is for financial reasons that both you cannot get married, then why engage in pre-marital sex and risk a pregnancy which cannot be supported financially?

Relationships are not simply a 2 person issue. Your family and the other person's families are intertwined with it. What would both families have to say about a marriage brought about by a pregnancy? Like it or not, we are still a society with predominantly Asian cultures and values which I find particularly valuable in this day and age. Openess probably has its virtues but if you had watched Juno, such a situation would not be accepted in Singapore. To be attending high-school when you're 6-7 months pregnant is a definite no-go.

The physical aspect of a relationship is important but going all the way is really not necessary. Besides, there are other aspects of a relationship to develop so why not develop the other aspects more first which also helps to ensure that it is not simply lust nor is it a purely physical relationship. Is waiting for marriage too long to endure before engaging in the oldest form of pleasure? If so, perhaps some thought need be given to the whole thing.

thesoupistoofumo

Controversial Post 001

2008-04-08T13:35:00.000+08:00

Contrary to popular belief, I do not think that sex is just plain and pure pleasure, though I also think that there is nothing wrong with enjoying it. It goes deeper than that, to an extent with which I can’t describe in words but I suppose that if you think about it after reading this… you may understand what I’m putting through. Marriage is but an act by law, or by religion, if you must. It is a vow that you make to show others that you truly love the person and want to share your life with her (I’m a guy). But please note, that this is but “a show of love”. It is an action to prove, not to yourself, but to others that this person here, signing this piece of paper, is the person you want to be with. To me, marriage is but an act of display. To love, you don’t need to show the world, but only to the girl next to you. Pre-marital sex, perhaps I am the only who thinks so, is acceptable. Because when you commit to that act, at that point of time, you truly love that person (well, not including those who do it only for fun). It is like… a bond between you and the person you love. You don’t need to show the world you love the person THEN have sex with her. You just need to show the person that you love her there and then. To me, sex is the proof of love, not those vows you make in front of everyone, not that piece of paper you sign and not that ring you put on the girl’s hand. Because all these are but a show of love, only the act of giving yourself up, both mind and body, do you truly love; encompassing the phrase: “Love is all about giving”. But please do not condemn me so soon, for I did not say those acts above are insignificant. They are, truly, but I believe that sex is the most significant. Think of it as an order of things; the three acts above that will eventually lead to sex. Normally, or rather most of you think; that the three acts should be done first and then it accumulates up to sex. But… if you already had sex, the three acts don’t really matter anymore. They suddenly become either inevitable (for those who truly love) or immaterial (for those…). Sex is not everything of course, Love is. But I suppose there is no better way to show love than through sex (when I mean show, I mean showing it only to the person you love). Hence, pre-marital sex or post-marital sex, it doesn’t matter to me. As long as the girl feels loved, as long as I feel loved in return, then I suppose nothing else matters. Love is, by most accounts, irrational. I hope that some of you get my picture after all this I’ve said. Now there are definitely flaws in what I wrote. But then again, nobody’s perfect.

I suppose some of you might hate me for this~ thesoupistooid~

be happy. be strong

2008-04-08T01:29:00.001+08:00

何をして日本への入国ですか？
頭が痛いですか？気を付けてください..
mine does now..
if they can translate this.. i am pissed..
why can't people live harmoniously with each other?
why can't couples accommodate each other?
why is money such a big issue?
why are we bothered with the minor issues?
is it that difficult to be nice to everyone?
is it that difficult to take a step back, admit your mistakes and move on with life?
i am lost..
life should be happy.. not sad and filled with tears..
be happy. be strong.

2008-04-07T23:10:00.004+08:00

皆　お元気ですか。
今　私は　日本語を　勉強します。明日　リスリンと　オラルテストから。
難しいですね。でも、大好きです。とても　面白いですから。
頭が　痛いですよ…　＞.＜
運動を　しませんか。　（はは）
明後日　会いましょう！

covergirlemmi

PMS, relationships and life

2008-04-07T19:58:00.003+08:00

This a a post to the PMS, relationship and life posts.
PMS:
I have to agree wholeheartedly with the soupistoofumo on this modern day dilemma. PMS has very much been normalized here in the Western world where sex constitutes part of a person's daily routine. Perhaps it will come a day where all Asians will come to the realization that not all things Western are "best". Saying no to PMS is analogous to making a sound investment, where compounded interest is a function of "money-time density". Abstinence reflects a person's sense of self worth and is perhaps the most invaluable betrothal gift. It embodies the culmination of, trust, faith, fidelity and probably ranks next to self sacrifice. This indeed is the secular and temporal reasoning of PMS, however in the Godly context, no more need to said.

Relationships:
Relationships (excluding male-male ones lol) should and can only be built on a rock foundation should it be made to last. On the sub-topic of thesoupistoofumo being disillusioned about breakups I would like to share Smith and Andrews(1989) research on conflicts in teams (another one of my classes that I have to take) which is applicable also to relationships. There are basically 4 levels of conflicts.
I Facts or data
Basic communication problems involving facts.

II Process or methods
Disagreement over the best way to achieve a goal or solve a problem.

III Goals or purpose
Cannot agree on the basic purpose or mission of the relationship.

IV VALUES
Disagree about basic meanings of the relationship and things they hold dear.

The 4th of which is inevitably the most probable root cause of breakups. It is therefore wise that before we enter into any sort of relationship, differences in values should be a veto factor. The same theory can also be applied to the soups. It is by no means a coincidence that we came together and somehow realized the values we shared. Unconsciously we sought the soupship of those that held common values.

Life:
For the soupistoophilosophical, are you a stoic or epicurean? Just my take on life. Life is like a CD-R, never has it or will it be a CD-R/W. Just doesn't happen. Every once in a while we need to do a little reality check to determine where we are in life. A good test would be the funeral oration one. Think of what you would want others to exalt you for in your eulogy. Although it is impossible to get out of your coffin and deliver it yourself, the speech is then a reflection of the legacy or infamy which you have left behind. Quoting from my leadership prof., "Greatness happens in a lifetime not in a moment."
So start making a difference in your own life and in those of others, because when we die, we all return to ashes. But the legacy of a great man resonated for generations to come.

Food for thought:
Is there natural law in this world as described by thomas aquinas and cicero? What is the cosmos, logos and by who's authority does the government rule the people?

"I want my oh jian" thesoupistooxxx

Life (part 1) by thesoupistooheng

2008-04-07T11:34:00.003+08:00

You're on the road to succes when you realize that failure is only a detour. - Anonymous

I just want to share with everyone something which I've learnt from someone.

Did you ever have any regrets in your life before ? Any thing you would've, should've or shldn't have done before? I'm sure everyone does.

Now we all know most of us are 21 years old this year or for the few of us going to be. For the past 20 years, we have regrets, made mistakes or done things we had never wanted to do. It could also be things you wished that you had done back then. Some people do wish that they could go back in time and change their past. I'm not saying that its wrong to think that way or its correct as well. Anyway time travel isnt possible, for the next few decades at least. We can't control time. However we cannot let time control us. Everything we do or say counts for each second. So there's no point in dwelling over the past. You would just be wasting time. Instead just take away what you've learnt in the mistake and carry it on in life.

Ok now just imagine that we are in the year 2028 when we are most probably 40 years old now. Let's say time travel is possible at that time and we are able to go back in time. What would you do ? Just be honest and true to yourself and not say things like "i would'nt wanna change anything blah blah cuz im think its wrong asdfghjklqwertyuio" o_O haha. So you imagine you can travel back in time 20 years ago when you're 21 again. How would you want to change your life? What changes could make your life in the future better so you wouldnt have any regrets at all?

If you're still following me, that's good. Right now where you're sitting or standing... went back in t You're 21 now in the year 2008. 20 years ago from the year 2028. You have just went back in time 20 years ago. Start making the difference now. How would you want to relive your life? You are reliving it now. Can you get the big picture now? So start making the change now.

I hope you guys can understand what im trying to say. I'm not encouraging everyone to dwell over your past. What i'm trying to say is that, attitude and your mindset are the most important things in success in life. Failure may just be a detour but success is always the end of the road. No matter how bad the detour may be, we must push on and carry on with the right attitude in life. Some may be lucky and some may not. But eventually we will all meet each other at the end line. =) Its nothing wrong to have regrets and feel bad about it. Afterall we are humans and we have emotions. What is important is how we have to get back on our feet after a fall and move on. There's nothing wrong with being wrong at all.

There are 3 ways we learn things in life:
1. Experiencing a value
2. Doing a deed
3. By suffering

There is no right or way wrong. The choice is yours. How do you want to live your life for the next 20 years?

thesoupistoophilosophical(heng)

2008-04-07T01:17:00.002+08:00

Relationships

How do relationships come about? What brings two unique people together into harmony? Is it fate or a mystical attraction between two distinct entities that makes things happen? Yet, what does it really mean to be in a relationship and why do people like each other?

Sometimes I feel disillusioned with the whole thing. Is it really a trial and error kind of thing? Do you continuously date until you find the one just like how Edison tried all sorts of materials before he found tungsten? Or do you just keep searching for the one as a hormonal single gay? It's pretty sad when people you know start breaking up then you start thinking to yourself "So where did all that apparent love go to?" Can an apparent feeling of love just disappear into thin air and if it can was it really love? Perhaps it was a mistake from the start but both parties were just to blind to see even as they looked at it right before their eyes. What comes after being in a relationship anyway? Unlike movies and cartoons where marriage and/or just getting attached is the end of turbulent times, it is but the start of something new more than anything.

How do 2 people come together and live happily? Can someone explain to me how a relationship is supposed to work and how people find the someone they like to coincide with the someone who likes them. Everything just seems fuzzy.
thesoupistoofumo

Home

2008-04-06T22:44:00.004+08:00

Here I come to find myself,
Catch the tide.
Looking for a peace at the end
of the line.
Sometimes I can't help myself,
fever's high
I'm all at sea and so unwise.

I'm so afraid i'll
lose your love
as time goes by
But courage is a fire and a
beacon so bright.
The sunset built a memory,
our love sign
And all at sea we come alive.

Will I wash away,
turning like a stone?
I need a place where I belong,
Call a setting sun, to throw
me down a rope.
And take me to a place called home.

I close my eyes, I know you're
there, love of mine
Standing on the shore in a
world i design.
The sunset fires a lonely flare
into the sky.
And all at sea we say good
bye.

Will i wash away,
turning like a stone?
I need a place where I belong.
Call a setting sun, to throw
me down a rope.
And take me to a place called
home.

Looking for a place called
Home.

thesoupistooheng

my views on pms

2008-04-05T04:53:00.001+08:00

long since i wrote anything proper...

PMS.. well fact is it is getting more rampant in our society today..
though i must agree that it will be good that you leave sth "special" for your spouse.
it will be very pleasant to know that both are each other's first.. it brings about a very special bond between the two of you.. knowing that you are indeed each other's..

on the contrary, i wouldn't see PMS as merely a form of pleasure activity, but of course it will be if you abuse it.. that would be casual sex.. which i would say a no no to.. PMS, if you see it as a activity that binds two person closer in a relationship, it may seem pretty reasonable to engage in it.. BUT both party must be willing to bear any consequences..

PMS, we shouldn't view it as a complete taboo.. you must really see where are you coming from.. from a religious perspective, definitely no go because the religious books and leaders says so.. from a conservative point of view, no go because virginity is special, should be treasured and kept for the right one.. from a partial liberal point of view, can go but depends who the partner is.. he/she must be someone whom i trust and will be willing to commit in a long-term relationship with me.. from a very liberal point of view, just go because it is just a pleasurable activity..
so it all depends on the person and what kind of values he carries..

for me.. i take on partial liberal.. not that i dont treasure this virginity, which i do.. just that if i find someone whom i feel gonna be my spouse.. i will let nature take its course.. if the relationship happens to develop that far, and both parties know what is happening.. then.. there it goes..

sometimes, intimacy is necessary in a relationship.. but it should not become the basis of it.. why do you want to hold your girlfriend's hand? because it brings two of you closer. connected physically. it also brings about security, knowing that you both belonged t0 each other.. having any PMS in between, can be said to be pretty similar.. it can strengthen your relationship to a certain extent.

however, one must take note that intimacy must be stop before the point of lust.. it is a deadly sin.. never lust, just love.. lust is when you desire that feeling of pleasure than the feeling of the person beside you..

conclusion: if it comes, it will come.. PMS... not very good, but not very bad either.. it depends on circumstances..

next soup to comment?
thesoupistooboss

PMS

2008-04-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

First topic of discussion:
This soup believes that pre-marital sex is not the right thing to do.

Pre-marital sex which was once a taboo is now gaining popularity especially with influences and increasing accessibility. Too many a movie now portray sex as nothing more than a harmless act. Movies which depict freeflowing sex partners don't even pause to address the issues at hand. Risk of conception and diseases aside, wouldn't it be nicer to wait until you actually get married before giving yourself up? Should sex not be a symbol of matrimonal bliss rather than simply an act of pleasure? There's nothing to gain but pleasure to engage in pre-marital sex but everything to lose.

Say NO to PMS!
thesoupistoofumo

The paradox of Soup

2008-04-03T18:36:00.000+08:00

The paradox of Soup

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. --